The Contradictory Motivation Article

It’s funny, because I’ve spent a fair bit of time kicking motivation in the balls across these articles.

Not because motivation is useless. It isn’t. Motivation can be brilliant. It can pick you up when you’re flat, shove you forward when you’re wobbling, and give you that little surge at exactly the right moment. It can feel like a turbo boost, which is basically what I understand from the deeply serious documentary series, The Fast & Furious.

The problem is not motivation itself.

The problem is expecting motivation to carry the whole transformation.

That’s where I think a lot of us get it wrong. We treat motivation as if it’s the foundation, when really it’s more like acceleration. It can help you move faster, but it won’t build the road. It won’t steer the car. It won’t change the tyres, check the engine, pay the insurance or stop you driving directly into a metaphorical ditch full of Twix’s.

Discipline and standards have to do the heavier work. They are what remain when the feeling disappears. They are the boring, unglamorous, annoyingly necessary parts of change. Motivation is more exciting. It has better lighting. It feels good. It makes you want to act. The trouble is, it’s also unreliable as hell.

So, being a contradictory old bugger, is motivation a good foundation?

Yes.

And no.

Helpful, I know. Put that on a mug.

Motivation Isn’t the Enemy

We have a complicated relationship with motivation. When you need it most, it often escapes you. When you’re tired, sore, ashamed, stressed, hungry or staring into the fridge like it might whisper the meaning of life, motivation is usually nowhere to be found. It has gone out. Probably with the version of you who definitely wasn’t going to eat badly again this week.

But when you’re already moving, when things are going well, when you’ve done the workout, written the thing, eaten better, walked further, slept properly or simply not made today harder than it needed to be, motivation can suddenly appear in bucket loads.

What the actual fuck.

Why do that to us?

You’d think motivation would show up at the hard bit. You’d think it would arrive when you’re at your weakest, slap you across the face, hand you a bottle of water and say, “Come on, big man, we’ve got standards to live by.” But no. Motivation often waits until you’ve already started. It’s like a mate who turns up after you’ve moved the sofa, then claims teamwork.

That’s annoying, but it also tells us something useful.

Motivation often follows action. It rarely always come before it.

That’s the part I have to keep reminding myself. Motivation is not some sacred flame that has to be burning before I move. Sometimes I have to move first, badly, reluctantly, grumpily, swearing under my breath like a man being asked to assemble flat-pack furniture in public. Then the reward arrives later.

Think about what motivation really feels like. It’s your brain enjoying the rewards of what you’re doing and begging you to do more. It likes the feeling of progress. It likes the tiny evidence that you’re not completely full of shit. It likes the buzz after doing something useful. But when things are tough, the reward gremlin isn’t always awake yet.

That’s when discipline and standards carry you through.

Not because they feel better, but because they don’t need to feel good to function.

The Reward Gremlin Arrives Late

The simple answer to increasing motivation is deeply irritating. Do things even when you don’t feel like doing them.

There you go. Article done, I’ll invoice myself.

The reason that answer is irritating is because it’s both obvious and difficult. If you do the thing without motivation, you can sometimes create the reward that gives you more motivation later. You earn the feeling by acting first. Jesus, even writing that confuses me a bit. It sounds like something a man in expensive trainers would say while pointing at a whiteboard.

So what does it mean practically? Not in a waffling guru-shite way. In an actual life way.

For me, it means experimenting on myself. I know my patterns and behaviours. I’m notoriously good at a burst of motivation. A week or two of drive, a little glow of belief, some overly ambitious planning, and then thump. My dreams hit the floor like a dead raccoon falling from an attic.

Again.

What I’ve found recently is that I can give motivation more chances to arrive by building little reminders and little interventions around my day. Nothing mystical. Nothing that needs a £49 course and a bloke with teeth too white to be trusted.

Firstly, my phone lock screen has my standards on it.

Nothing more.

Every time I pick up my phone, I’m reminded of the standards I want to live by. Not a quote from a millionaire who wakes at 4am to journal beside an infinity pool. Not some glossy vision board of a life I can pretend will happen by osmosis. Just my standards.

Move every day.

Don’t abandon yourself when you feel rough.

Forgive yourself, then take the next step.

Act like it’s not too late.

As I’ve said before, everything in life is sets and reps. This is one of mine. I see those standards every time I go to read a message, doom scroll, or go on Facebook to remind myself I’m better than everyone else. It’s not dramatic. It’s not cinematic. It’s repeated exposure. A small interruption, a little poke in the ribs before the old patterns get fully comfortable.

And I add to that with a simple self-affirmation.

No, wait. Screw that. Self-affirmation rarely works for me. What I’m really trying is a simple ass kicking.

When I feel myself half-assing something, I try to redirect my brain with questions that cut through the negotiation.

Is that the man you want to be? How much harder do you make tomorrow by being a lazy shitebag today? Is this how you’d advise someone else to act? You’ve built the website, don’t be a fraud.

That last one has a particular sting. Because once you start talking publicly about change, standards, honesty and transformation, you create pressure. Not fake influencer pressure. Not “look at my perfect life” pressure. Real pressure. Useful pressure. The kind that says: if you’re going to write about the fight, you’d better actually fight.

Not perfectly, but honestly.

Sometimes the Stick Works Better Than the Carrot

We hear a lot about positive reinforcement. Visualise the outcome. Picture the future. Imagine the fitter, stronger, calmer, more disciplined version of yourself. All of that can help. I’m not dismissing it. There’s value in seeing where you want to go.

But sometimes I need to look at the consequence not just the reward.

Maybe I’m using the psychology terms badly, so any actual expert can calm down and put the clipboard away, but I know what I mean. For me, there’s a difference between saying, “If you do this, you’ll make it easier for yourself next time,” and saying, “If you don’t do this, you’ll make tomorrow harder.”

Technically, they’re the same idea.

Emotionally, they hit differently.

The first one sounds positive. Sensible. Mature. The second one grabs me by the collar a bit more. It forces me to think about the cost of avoidance. If I don’t move today, tomorrow is harder. If I eat badly tonight, tomorrow is harder. If I put the important thing off again, tomorrow is harder. If I keep choosing the comfortable option, I’m not staying still. I’m making the next step steeper.

Make that make sense.

It doesn’t fully make sense to me either but it works in my head.

Maybe it’s because, in that lazy moment, my brain is focused on what feels easiest right now. It doesn’t care much about some bright future reward. That reward feels too far away. Too theoretical. Too clean and motivational poster-ish. But when I frame the choice as making tomorrow harder, it triggers a different response.

I don’t want tomorrow to be harder. Tomorrow is already a smug little bastard without my help.

So maybe the trick is not always to chase the positive vision. Sometimes it’s to respect the consequence. Not in a cruel way. Not in a “you’re useless” way. That just turns into shame, and shame is terrible fuel. But in a clear way.

This choice has a cost. This action has a consequence. This small avoidance is not free.

That might sound harsh, but I think it’s honest. And honestly, if you struggle like I have, it might be worth trying. Flip the lens. See whether your brain responds better to the reward or the consequence. Maybe you need the carrot. Maybe you need the stick. Maybe, like me, you need both, plus a lock screen and an occasional verbal slap from your own conscience.

Cheat Codes, Not Shortcuts

Then there’s forced motivation.

This is where I deliberately use something I enjoy to create a false high. Like a drug for motivation, except without injecting something into a vein or an ass cheek.

A good example: this morning I watched a film called Bigger. It’s the “true” story of Joe Weider, the grandfather of modern bodybuilding. I know there are plenty of entertainment-driven fictional bits in it, because apparently reality is never allowed to be dramatic enough on its own, but the thread of the story hit me. He was smart. He worked hard. He built something through effort more than talent. He learned how to achieve. He wasn’t gifted everything by genetics or wealth. He grafted.

And because I am a deeply humble man, my immediate thought was: well, I’m smarter than everyone else. Imagine if I grafted.

Ridiculous? Yes.

Useful? Also yes.

That kind of thing gives me a little surge. It makes me feel more energetic. It makes me want to use the feeling before it disappears. Then, if I’m smart, I don’t just sit there admiring the feeling like it’s a rare bird. I spend it. I go and do something useful. Write. Train. Build. Clean. Plan. Move. Something.

That’s the key. The film didn’t change me; the film got me moving quicker. The useful work after the film created the real reward.

That’s the high that lasted. Not the entertainment – the achievement.

Twelve hours later, I wasn’t still buzzing because I’d watched a film. I was buzzing because the film gave me a push and I turned the push into action. I faked the spark until I made something real from it.

For me, that can work. Fitness documentaries. Anything 80s with Arnie. Rocky. Rambo. Stories about people grafting, building, fighting, dragging themselves through something. Maybe that makes me a sociopath. Maybe it makes me a man with a very predictable emotional operating system. Either way, it works.

And if it works, I’ll use it.

That’s the point. There’s no shame in using a trigger if the trigger points you towards better action. Music, films, stories, old photos, a lock screen, a quote, a memory, a standard, a challenge, a fear, a consequence. Use what moves you. Just don’t confuse the feeling with the work.

The feeling is the match. The work is the fire.

It may be none of this works for you exactly as it works for me. That’s fine. Try it. If it doesn’t work, experiment. Don’t be afraid to force a feeling, as long as you know what you’re doing with it. Don’t wait for pure, organic, ethically sourced motivation to arrive wearing linen and telling you it’s time. Sometimes you have to cheat the system a little.

Not shortcuts just cheat codes.

There is no shortcut that removes the need for action. No film, lock screen, quote, song or self-administered ass kicking will do the work for you. But there are small things that can make action more likely. Tiny triggers. Little boosts. Mental nudges. Ways to get yourself moving when the reward gremlin is still asleep and discipline is doing the heavy lifting.

That’s where motivation belongs.

Alongside standards. Alongside discipline. Alongside honesty.

Not as the foundation, but as the spark that helps the fire catch.

Disclaimer: This article reflects personal perspectives and experiences relating to fitness, mindset, motivation and wellbeing. It is intended for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.