There are so many times I’ve given up on my “journey” over the years. Even in this last week there are so many times I’ve wanted to give up running.

Why? Well because it’s damn hard. Change is the hardest thing you will do in your life. We are built against changing. No-one likes it, once your on a path, YOU’RE ON A PATH!

If you choose your path poorly, then you are in for a struggle, for a while. Once you change and get on your new path, all in, practiced and routine, it is as easy as your old path. I truly believe that, I have to otherwise I will never change.

Change for me involves a lot of pain and discomfort. My physical condition is not great, ground down from years of thinking I can do things on a 270lb frame that is not meant to take this amount of stress. Consistently and persistently I have given up over the years. Small bursts of enthusiasm pulled back by reality hitting. Recently, I started running. And I really enjoyed it. And this is “proper” running, with strides, sprints, warm ups, jogs. A combination to improve stamina and speed. It went well for around 6 weeks, then my body crashed. My knee got so sore it hurt to bend it, let alone walk on it. So I scaled back, less sessions, but that didn’t help. Two weeks off running and I am pain free, back to the ache I always have in my knees.

It’s obvious, a mid-40s body at 270lbs cannot handle real running. So I give up.

I don’t really, but like in the gym with weights, I have to adapt. I have to get out of my head “real running”. That can wait until I’ve lost weight. For now I have to be fluid and change my structure. So now I’ve got my little 1 mile loop, and I have to get that down to the quickest I can do it.

And I have to do that carefully. There’s no point going hell for leather and buckling my knee again. So it’s gentle, keep the heart rate up, burn the fat.

I am convinced that once I lose 20-30lbs I will be able to ramp up my running to “real running” once again.

What if I can’t? Well then I will need to find the middle ground between the gentle jog and the full throttle thunder bursts!

What I can say is Voltarol is my friend (and no this isn’t sponsored). I was very anti remedies, even though at times I have to chew painkillers like smarties, I hate doing it. Some sort of stupid pride. I’m over that, if it helps I am taking it. How where are those steroids…kidding!

If you have made it this fare, do me a favour and come follow me on Facebook, support is always welcome.